Regret

Just One Touch from the King

The garden of Gethsemene was a place of pain; where Jesus wrestled in prayer until he came to a place where he was fully yielded to His Father’s will. He wanted the support of his close friends but they couldn’t stay awake.

You can find the account in Mark 14 v 32 – 50.

This is a retelling from Simon Peter’s perspective.

Regret

Simon.

Jesus called me Simon.

He’d not used that name for a long time. I was Peter - the rock who would always be there; solid and dependable Peter. But I’d drifted back - I knew I’d let him down. I thought that I was strong enough.

I didn’t know what was happening. Jesus was distressed he was struggling with what was ahead. I wanted to help him, yet I couldn’t even do what he asked.

I couldn’t stay awake while he prayed. Not once but twice he came back and woke us. I wanted to help him but wanting wasn’t enough.

Yesterday he’d warned me, but I was full of bravado. What, me? No of course not. I’d never desert you. Those words were yesterday - today reality hit hard.

If only I’d prayed. I’d watched so many times as Jesus drew strength and direction from time with his Father. ‘Watch and pray’, he’d said. Why oh why couldn’t I have listened; really listened?

I didn’t think it would be like this. I want to follow but this is a way I don’t understand. Confusion and fear surround me. I even attacked a man – letting my anger and emotion rule, I struck him.

That’s not the right way. I know Jesus well enough to know it couldn’t be his way; but death - surely not death?

He is young and there is so much more he can do... we can do.... I can’t bear to think of him gone.